Jason Cotton's Blog
My Fight, My Life, My views on life
The love of a Mother
It sounds like Dad not only ran you over with a semi but drugged a couple hundred miles
I would give my life for you to never have any more pain and be healthy that is how much you mean to me
Big Hug from mom
I’m Ok
I am. I’m ok, yeah I had a bad night and I was in a lot of pain. Yeah my legs feel like they are broken, when I look at them though I know they aren’t so I just try my best to ignore it. My headache well that’s not going to change anytime soon so why treat it any differently? This morning I got out of bed. That may not seem like a huge feat but in my world it is. So yeah, I’m ok.
I’m not in the hospital, and most importantly I’m not dead. So I’m ok
Living with Pain
Yesterday and this morning I watched him deal with pain that was nearly to much for him. The chemotherapy is making it feel like his legs are broken, adding to the list of aches and pains he is already coping with. When you ask, “How are you feeling?” The answer is still, “I’m ok.” This morning he was up with his alarm and as we speak getting ready for work. Deb
Those dreaded numbers
I’m going to warn you before you read this post.
STOP NOW if you don’t want numbers.
Cancer is all about numbers, good numbers and bad numbers. And some of the good numbers depending how low they are can be bad numbers.
Tumor counts, this are the enzymes, proteins that are in your system that are testable and gives the doctors and me an idea of how well the chemotherapy is working. From the start this chemotherapy cycle had been working, a better than what I expected to be honest. But with having over a month off the cancer has started to grow again. It has gone unchecked for to long. That said my tumor counts in the last 6 weeks have gone up not down 2000 pts. Seems small in comparison to the 0ver 60 thousand that it has gone down from the start of this all. But as a patient in my mind set its not what I wanted to hear when going into a very rough treatment in less than 2 weeks.
Red Blood Cell and White Blood cell counts or RBC and WBC, I’ve written about these before so I’m not going to bore you until your eyes bleed on what is good and what is bad. Yesterday I was told that I looked pale and yellowish so off to the clinic I went. My RBC was 9.5 and I played vampire. Now this is usually a normal thing with cancer treatments. As chemotherapy kills your RBC and WBC’s you get transfusions to essentially keep you alive. But I haven’t had chemotherapy in 6 weeks now and I had to get blood… Why?? I know from experience and the pain that it’s because the chemotherapy has started to not only affect my blood but my bone marrow. So as RBCs die my body is no longer able to make enough RBCs to keep up. So now it feels like I’m taking 3 steps back to each step forward.
The good news though is that the tumor in my head is now a 1/3rd of the size that it originally was, so all of this is not being done in vain.
Last part of the numbers, survivability of my therapy treatment… 3%
Dates
I was diagnosed on July 7, 2000. This is my Grandmother’s headstone.
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