I’m sitting here waiting for my turn to get nuked listening to my iPod trying to not think about today to much. Not an easy thing to do….

I’m in the courtyard of the outpatient area just sitting here and the breeze just picked up and I smell jasmine

I’m smiling now not as worried or scared

Little things

Today I’m going to lose more pieces of myself.  I get hopefully my last round of Radiation today.  Today isn’t going to be fun since I’ve been up since 2 am.  Have to love meds, when they do the opposite of what they are supposed to do.  They were supposed to let me relax and dull the pain so I could sleep instead they wired me and gave me the shakes.

So am I worried about today?  Yeah.  I’m tired and I’ll be more apt to have a seizure.  I can’t tell you how much I hate those.

2hrs to go.

I know I just posted something about a thank you that was to my care givers and loved ones, but this one is personal.

 Yesterday I had a seizure, it was a mild one per say.  It wasn’t a full Grand Mal that I know of, you see  I don’t remember having it. But since I was at work when it happened and no one noticed it.  Well that’s not true either someone noticed it, but they weren’t here in my office they are/were over 2,000 miles away on the other side of the country.

She noticed that I suddenly started to stutter and immediately took control telling me to get off the phone with her and then notified Bea, Deb, and Ky (Ky is a second mom to me at the office).  She then gave Bea a precise timeline of what happened and to check on me. 

About an hour later I was emailing her and she was understandablely worried.  You see I didn’t know I had a seizure.  She asked me to call her so she could check on me.  From thousands of miles away she took care of me, got me to go home.  Well not home but to the girls and told me to call her when I got there.  When I called she was on the phone with a customer so I just left a phone message with one of her coworkers.  Almost as soon as I left the message my body just shut down and I fell asleep.  So she called me and left a message.  What did she say?  Sorry that she missed my call.  Sorry….  She’s at work dealing with work issues and worried about me says Sorry. 

So this is a direct thanks to Crystal.  Thank you for taking care of me and making sure I got to a safe place.  Thank you for being someone special in my life.