Jason Cotton's Blog
My Fight, My Life, My views on life
News
On Weds Sept 23rd Jason was put in Remission again for his brain tumor and his NHL. He has been trying to get ahold of some people to let them know before he posted because of the closeness he has with them all, and he’s afraid to get to happy about this because he’s been here before.
This is the most optimistic we have been in a long time. His will and strength show that no matter what people tell you, you can or cannot do. As long as you believe in yourself and are willing to fight for your beliefs anything is possible.
He has a trip to Seattle still and now Months of scans and follow ups, but he’s on the road to the light from his long battles in the Valley
Deb
What day is it?
The surgery went extremely well and had really no complications, I had a sinus headache but nothing like my usual migraines. The good news is that it seems to have worked the tumor is dieing, what’s next I’m not sure to be honest. I know that I’ve got a maintenance chemo coming up but when it is exactly I don’t really remember. I’ll have to look it up or ask Bea or both….
This last week has been a pins and needles week for other reasons non health related. I’m not ready yet to talk about it or if I will talk about it.
Today or should I say yesterday was the first time I’ve had a seizure in a while. It was only a medium one, no real side effects like a stutter or memory issues like I’ve had. Just a really sore shoulder and neck. Don’t have a seizure while your head is stuffed into a CT scan tube, having a seizure and losing control of your body is one thing being straped to a table with your head in a stablizing halo is another. Especially when you feel it coming and realize hey wait a min I can break my neck…
That was yesterday techically since it was past midnight a couple of hours ago. Tonight is one of those nights that my brain just won’t stop.
Surgery
Tomoorrow I have a pretty major surgery, you see they are going to put chemotherapy directly into the tumor that has been giving me such fits.
The way the doctors describe this in their book it’s not that bad. But come on get real guys it’s my fucking brain you are sticking shit into. Especially chemo. Into the brain… Lets just say I’m not jumping for joy about this procedure. Chemo in my veins was one thing and it’s killed me a lot. I mean really a lot.
But this shit scares me more than normal chemo ever did. My biggest worry is not being me anymore. Having irreversible brain damage. Seeing my mom and not knowing her, or hearing the voice of the woman I love and not recognizing her.
To an extreme say they mess up and I can no longer do my job and work what then? What’s the sense of fighting anymore if that happens? So others can remember who I used to be?
Those are my fears, lol I used to be afraid of the dark when I was younger. That seems so long ago now.
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