Jason Cotton's Blog

This trip was very needed and a good break. Work had been well…. Work. I won’t complain right now about it though because I’ve already done enough of that.

The hospital was good and the doctors treated me like a person not a case study. It was a great relief after the fiasco of UCLA. I felt comfortable there and actually came away feeling 100 times better. Tomorrow we should know if they can help me or not. So cross your fingers

I’ve postponed the Florida trip for right now for…… Personal reasons, don’t worry I’m still going I’m just pushing it back for right now.

Oh for those that don’t know these trips are for the seizures and drain bamage caused by that SOB Murphy, oh and the headaches I have, not cancer I’m still clean

I’ll close with a quote from a friend who’s a fire fighter. “Holy goat Fuck that things huge no wonder you are a nut”. (I cleaned it up a lot if you think marines can swear…)

In a way cancer is like getting old. You just asked yourself what in the hell is he talking about.

When you get older your body changes and the things you lost will rarely come back. Your joints stiffen you have low energy and it takes longer to do things. But we also have learned things most people haven’t yet.

We have a choice, we can let age and life control us or we can control it. I’ve always chose to take control. Yeah I have aches and pains and feel like shit and yeah the stress of the day gets to me a lot more than it used to.

If I let those things effect me or get to me though I suffer consequense. If you get stressed and angry your BP goes up, me I have seizures and migraines. We all have a choice though let our day control us or we can control our day. Find those things to balance out your day. Be it exercising or reading a book find what works for you.

What works for you? What makes you want to keep going?

Me? It’s a smile, a whisper, a sweet smell of lavendar and vanilla, and an unadultrated laugh of innocence.

This weekend was a good weekend in ways and sureal in others. I found out I’m done with chemotherapy finally.

Doc Nick feels that I don’t need to do the maintenance anymore and we should just monitor me closely. It’s great news especially after this last year.

Sureal because this trip was without the girls, they were here with me through all of the bad and late nights without sleep. Gave up a lot of there lives for me now they can’t share the good with me.

I miss them

I decided that instead of posting the messages in my drafts currently as in now I’m posting them on the dates that I actually wrote them but never published them.  I know it’s kind of confusing but I wasn’t ready to “publish” things when I actually wrote them.  So I’m now going back through and editing them a little and posting them on the dates they were written.  So when you visit make sure that you scroll back and check to see if there are posts that I’ve published.  

So far it’s been only 2 that I’ve posted so be sure to scroll back and you will get a better feel for my silence.

Pictures are fixed now yeah now you can see again.